Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Staying close to your partner while you are so far away



     After one year of dating Richard, Janet knew he was the man for her. They had laughed ,cried,suffered,and struggled together.
      She knew she had the best moments of her life with him,but her world came crumbling when Richard told her on one of their frequent dates that he has been transferred to the international branch of the company in Australia.

   He is expected to leave in the next four days.Richard was worried,sad and distressed. Janet was speechless,staring into each other’s eyes,they wondered if they could really live without seeing each other,memories of her laughter,play came back into Richard’s mind.

     Janet remembered his jokes,their little fights,memories of holding hands and walking together in his garden brought tears to her eyes. Nigeria to Australia,that’s quite a distance ,she wondered .
It was certain they were both in love with each other,the only option left in order to still have a place in each other’s lives is a Long distance relationship(LDR).Whether it will work or not,they were not certain,but they decided to give it a try.

      Just like Janet and Richard,a lot of lovers and married couples have found themselves in this situation.I have often heard people say LDR is a waste of time,the partners end up cheating on each other,some people even ask’’ how can you keep on loving someone you don’t see everyday ‘’?So,does long distance relationship really work or is it just a waste of time like most people presume.I say a big YES to that,LDR really does work.
        
         I have seen it work,I have heard sweet love stories about couples that scaled through a LDR .Just like every other relationship or marriage,like they say no marriage is made in heaven,all relationship requires a lot of efforts to make it work .
    Long distance relationship can be tough,but sometimes works out beautifully. Here are some tips on how to make a LDR work:

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF; There’s no point having a long distance relationship with a partner that even when he/she is with you cheats on you.If you live in the same city with a guy or lady that lies to you about his/her whereabouts,not straightforward,or you notice a bit of insincerity.please,if the person is relocating to a new domain,break off any form of relationship,because if you continue dating such a partner when they are away,you will end up getting hurt,disappointed and frustrated.
if a person is not worth it,faithful,truthful,and honest.Don’t think distance will make them a better partner to you.Long distance relationship only works out beautifully for faithful and truthful partners.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION AND TRUST;Use the power of modern technology,use your phone and internet to communicate with each other.Talk to each other via web cams,share your worries,fears,troubles with each other. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies.
   I believe communication plays a very crucial role in a relationship.Learn to trust each other to avoid doubts and worries,update each other about your day to day activities.

SPEND TIME TOGETHER; inspite of the distance,I believe the partners can still have “special date’’,probably on weekends, on such occasion,both parties could prepare the same meal in their different locations.
     At a fixed time,each partner looking good,with a webcam can have a exciting and interesting date,without any distraction,or interference,if possible all phones switched off,remember you mean so much to each other.Also,you could pray together,watch a movie together,listen to a programme ,and when the movie is over ,call each other to discuss it.

BUILD A BOUNDARY WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX;It’s healthy and rewarding to have a good relationship with the opposite sex,but there shouldn’t be any form of excessive closeness with anyone if you really want your LDR to last.As a guy,you shouldn’t encourage a female friend to do your laundries,cook your meals,do your shopping and all that. 

    A lady should not encourage a male friend to take her out all the time,spend long hours on phone,or chatting or friendly dates. I strongly believe when you spend so much time with someone,you tend to like them,or when someone starts meeting some of your needs{footing your bills,cooking for you, washing your dishes},you unconsciously start falling in love with them,even if you don’t intend to,or better still you will want to reward them by dating them.The Level of your closeness to a male or female friend, will either make you closer to or drift away from your partner.Too much closeness,may make you drift away from partners and finally take you away from them.

    HONESTY: Both partners should be honest in their communication,in expressing their anger and worries.And if you find yourself falling in love with someone else,be sincere with your partner by letting him or her know.
Remember,fights are a part of any relationship,and it’s up to you to deal with it or succumb to it. 
          Your long distance relationship can work if you put the time and effort into making it work.If You are in love with somebody,You will swim the stream,You will climb the mountain,You will slay the dragon!!!

LIVE YOUR LIFE: One of the keys to surviving a long-distance relationship is to make sure you maintain your life, friendships and interests when your partner is away. “Many people in long-distance relationships have their whole lives wrapped up in their partner, which leaves them terribly depressed when the partner leaves, “This dependency stunts your personal growth, which will later take its toll on your relationship. To ensure that you don’t lose sight of your goals and your life, use your separation as an opportunity to focus on your career or schooling without distraction and take advantage of your time away from your partner to develop yourself. Being in a long-distance relationship actually offers a wonderful benefit that a close physical relationship does not.,You can both continue to grow and richen your lives independently of each other while still being in a partnership, If handled correctly, each partner can become much more productive and well-developed, and will have more to bring to the relationship in the end.


           Are you in a long distance relationship or have you ever been in one.If yes,did it work? What were your challenges.?What do you generally think about a long distance relationship?,share your thoughts below.Let’s discuss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

  1. Nice write up, thank you. I've been in a LDR for a long while and it has worked out pretty well. When you love someone, it doesn`t matter how long you wait, so long as there is communication, trust, hardwork and prayer. One must be ready to sacrifice resources also, which is very trivial when compared with benefits of the relationship itself. IT DOES WORK, ask me again and I`m gonna say yes.

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  2. I met my hubby online and we were long distance for a while. You're so right in this article.

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  3. yes i concur with the points here especially no 2 ,effective communication is the key ,two people far from each other can still make it with that

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  4. Developing closeness and intimate relationships with your partner also involved trusting each other, caring deeply for each other, and little things like holding hands and sensually touching each other also make a big difference. Sometime less is more.

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